Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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