Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
