You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
