So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
