Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
