Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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