Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
