she was so not down for the gang bang
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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