I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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