dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
