Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
