ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
