So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize