And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
