I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you win again, gameday.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
