I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
