i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My feet surprised me
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