capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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