and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
