So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
