He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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