if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize