I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
