the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize