even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
