I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
