Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no, he came in my armpit
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
handjob tips. give me some.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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