so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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