Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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