So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
