i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
