If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
