yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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