so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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