Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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