Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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