rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
