Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
