I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
