Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
