Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I want her autograph on my taint
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
