And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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