i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
