Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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