I looked at my own cervix.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
