She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
