He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
