he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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