if only i could text you this smell
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I am one with the molecules
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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