I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
