yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize