cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No...this little piggys going to the bar
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
