I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i love accidental penises.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
