I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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