so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
