What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
