I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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