yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
