is your mom at the bar?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just invented taco cereal.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
