I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
should my penis look like a turkey
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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