..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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