You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
