It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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