Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??

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(732): View more from New Jersey

On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy

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(662): View more from Mississippi

So I fucked that hot french guy last night

(228): View more from Mississippi

You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.

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(850): View more from Florida

I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.

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(352): View more from Florida

To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.

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(302): View more from Delaware

you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.

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